By the time most LBS arrive here, they’ve already tried pleading, bargaining with their ex and that failed. The typical DB advice is to be LESS available as what we can’t have is often more desirable than what we can easily have. Consistent actions would be to cancel lunch and not reschedule, not meet weekly as “friends” since that’s not what you two are (you would presumably not be happy for him if he began dating someone kind, sext, and rich), and stop sending those animal pics. In other words let him miss who you are and what you two had together.
Originally Posted by Kind
But in 99% of those cases, there is someone else.
It’s not that high—there was no AP in my situation and several others I could name at the time of BD—but at least 80% who insist there’s no AP end up discovering one. Challenge your assumption, especially if it’s based on words or you think he couldn’t find time, but don’t fall deep into paranoia if you’re certain that’s not the case or at least not why he left.
Originally Posted by Reeling
when he found out
How did he find out? How do you see each other rarely? GAL and 180s are a huge focus of DB and people often underestimate how much of it their ex will find out about through social media, friends in common, arranged pickups of things from the home, random encounters, etc. Living your best life instead of being stuck in grieving mode tends to make you more attractive. I challenge you to consider one item to add to each of your GAL and 180s lists and work on those!
