Summary so far: H asked for a D and after I kicked him out I discovered he was having an affair with an ex-GF. For a while, I wanted to reconcile but after he made no effort to end his AF, I accepted the D but made him the one to file. He's off living his new life with his new partner in another state. I am still acting as step-mom to the boys I helped raise. I have moved into an apartment and I'm in the process of getting settled now that I am able to begin this new life I've been given.
Friends and Family: My SSs are staying somewhat in touch and are off living their young lives. My mom is very supportive, although she is not happy in her marriage so sometimes talking to her can be emotionally exhausting, but I learned to set some boundaries and that is helping. I have other family that feel that I should be happy that I am not in a relationship with this person they now hate, and they don't understand why I am still unhappy, struggling, stressed etc. If you look at the list of all the things not to say to someone going through trauma, they pretty much have said all those things to me. I try to not judge them too much, as they are helping me in other ways (financially) but it is still very hard to not be able to turn to your family members with the truth of the feelings you are struggling with. Most friends have been supportive and that has helped.
My emotional state: I'm starting to feel again and I've been doing IC. After years of stress and trauma, I've been suffering from emotional numbness and/or detachment. In many ways I have been doing better (my health has improved and I am functioning) but the emotional issues are dragging on. My IC feels that dating again will help to deal with these issues. So I'm considering looking at that in the coming months. I have accepted the D, I've come to terms with what I've learned about my XH and how he treated me, but I still do not really feel "alive" or excited about life yet. So this journey for me is ongoing.
So this is where I begin this thread...
El
Me 52, H 56 T10 M7, 2nd MR for both 2 Step Sons (19 and 21) BD: Fall 2020 D finalized: July 2022 XH Married AP soon after D day.
