If G thinks it is right for her, and more importantly Little G, then it IS right for them. It doesn’t really matter whether the rest of us think it is right or not because we aren’t the ones living it.
Dawn I very often agree with your thoughts but on this I can’t understand your thinking. Let’s separate the specific item currently at play. Are you saying that whatever someone thinks is the correct thing to do or not do, is always correct? So if her father was kicking the dog, if she thinks it might strain their R she should not say anything or intervene? As long as they think it’s the correct thing then that’s the final word? What about if he was shoplifting while he and Little G went shopping? It’s yet another uncomfortable sitch. Sure little G is not participating but she’s aware of it and he’s doing it right in front of her. What if he used the N word all the time and it made little G very uncomfortable? I could list all sorts of examples. Yes it very does much does matter what others think. Just because she’d rather not rock the boat does not mean we can’t say THAT IS WRONG!!! Little G thinks it’s wrong, it totally bothers her - but don’t confront her dad for fear of his reaction? It’s okay for her to be scared. It’s okay to be difficult. But if we don’t do things we are afraid of or that are difficult where will that end? She needs support in doing what’s right.
Of course I would not advocate someone sitting by and saying nothing while a dog was being kicked or the N word was being used or any of those things, but you know as well as I do, Don, that this is NOT the same thing. Everyone keeps talking about this being a teaching moment and how w2 has a right to know so someone should tell her because they’d want to know. While I understand those points, I just don’t happen to agree in this particular case that it is up to G or little G to be the one to put it out there. Little G went to her mother about it, the parent she trusts. Little G has made it clear, for her own reasons, that she doesn’t want to say anything right now, so why is it so bad that G wants to step back with little G and get her in counseling. Just because little G doesn’t want to talk to her father right now when she JUST learned this info, doesn’t mean she is never going to. She needs some time to process and G is giving her that and trying to protect her in the process so just because some of you would jump in and make your kid talk to their parent right now if you were in this situation doesn’t mean that is the right choice for G and little G. Little G is a kid and therefore shouldn’t be in the middle of adult matters. She IS old enough to make her own choices in regards to her communication with her dad. That’s what I meant about it isn’t on anyone but G and little G to decide what is right for them in this scenario. We are probably just not going to see eye to eye on this one.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
