Thank you. It's very clarifying hearing your opinions. I think it's really, really tough because overall the ex comes off as a really kind person, and in general he is - but he hasn't been kind to me..
This resonates with my situation so much. In general H is a sweetheart, he helps me with kids, cooks, cleans, does groceries, helps family and friends, but then he gaslit me and blamed me for him having the affair. I have heard so many stories of people who divorced and remained friends saying they still "have love" for each other but just cannot stay married or stay together in a relationship. It didn't make sense to me then, but now it makes soo much sense.
I think that's what drives so many of us to this site. We know how good the partner can be! And they choose not to be it, we get upset, but when they act like a decent human we wonder if we are the main reason they're acting this way. Or at least that's how I feel anyway. Also makes it difficult to fully break away.
But like someone said in your thread, when they act like a decent parent it's what they should be doing.
