Unfortunately, I more or less went off the deep end by launching into W about her affair. I probably didn't do the greatest job of validating. I'm just too hung up on what Sandi typed a while back, about a WW dodging responsibility for an affair by pointing to past marriage shortcomings.
Hi Doug,
It's normal for you to feel angry, hurt, and betrayed. Seriously, we've all been there, and most of us at some point lashed out. Of course, lashing out at her shoves your W away from unsafe AngryDoug and towards safe OM. This isn't TheWay whether your goal is to bring her closer to R OR get her to agree to the best possible D terms. Steve mentioned how valuable IC is as a way for you to get stronger and deal with your rollercoaster of emotions. There's also fitness and meditation. Get your head in a place where you can follow Sandi's rules (have you read them?), GAL, and 180.
