What if he core beliefs are that he won’t share his W with another man?
I wouldn't share my W with another man and don't think Doug54 or others should either. That said, there's a big scale between a brief EA with a few inappropriate texts and 5 years of multiple long running affairs. While both are inappropriate, I'd agree with you the latter is a deal-breaker and I'm guessing you'd agree with me that the former can be worked through. Now, where at what point on that scale crosses a line which passes the point of no return? That's up to Doug54.
Me:39 Ex-W:37 M:7 T: 9 S:6 D:3 BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20 OM1 affair ends: May '20 W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20 W files for D: Jul20 OM2 confirmed: 9/2020 Divorced: May '21
