She said she realized last night her fear comes from what would happen to their relationship if he knew she saw that. So she says she prefers not to say anything right now. She will go there with her grandma. She want things to just be “normal”
Uggggg I wish she was an adult as that would make my comments she much easier. But being 13 or 14 it’s harder. In general terms however - NO NO NO - just wrong. This is how far too many adults get to be the way they are. “Just want things to be normal”. Many just want to go along to get along. That’s simply not life and it turns people into pleasers. You say your ex has always gotten away with crap. That’s only because those in his life have allowed it. Now little G wants to allow it just to hold on and pretend things will gloss over and return to normal. No wonder he gets away with it.
This can be a huge learning experience. This is real life. Will she be taught to stand up for what is right and for what she believes or to just shut up to not rock the boat. Again if she was 18 I’d totally advocate for her standing up. As an early teen I’m less sure. Sadly though she is learning potentially how NOT to handle life experiences like this but how to avoid them and smooth them over. Is that what you want to teach her?
This is so sad on so many levels but is not the first disappointment she will have in her life including with her dad. I think I’d encourage her to stage up for what is right. Piece at any cost is never worth it. It’s best she learns this now as hard as it is. Be there to do it with her. Support her through it. You seem afraid to upset him as well. She sees that. A strong mom that takes her by the hand and says nope this stops today may be the best thing she can experience. Doing the right thing us often not easy. It’s often hard but it’s still the right thing. Encourage her to do the right thing. Teach her to be a strong adult that does what’s right rather than avoid to hope to all just goes away. It never does. If she lets dad get away with this what will she do when it’s her BFor husband doing the exact same thing.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
