Pregnant, Abandoned Twice, Affairs OW (3)

[Valeska19]

Thank you, Valeska for posting.

I'm glad you have support. It will help calm the fear and allow you to make the best decisions for YOU and the kids.

and thanks for reminding me it is about ME and the kids, and what H does is just what parents need to do, and nothing to do with our relationship. Lines do get blurry sometimes in my head and I fear that if we do have a D whether anyone will ever be as good as him with my children.

I think it's important to try to remember that a D doesn't mean he won't be involved in with the kids. The only way that happens is if HE chooses to not be a dad.

Noone should live like that. How do you know enough is enough and how do you define your limits to this sort of interactions? I'm afraid that if I don't draw the line, with all the lack of sleep and stress on top of it will make me depressed and unable to care for my children.

Honestly it's different for everyone. You won't be "done" one minute until you are ready to be. But IF you feel you want to start... you control YOUR responses. He spews venom, you walk away. He wants to rant... you walk away. He wants to threaten... you say "Ok". You stop all participation in toxic communication.

I can sense he is still very much WAS even if he tries to say otherwise, his actions shows differently. I know I can't control what he does, but how do I get him to work on our piecing if me communicating this is "controlling"?

How do you feel he is acting differently? Based on what you post... he's not really doing anything different as a partner... only starting to show up as a father.


Also you can't "get him" to do anything. You control YOU... which speaking of... I'm a little confused. Do you want him out of the house and only work on co-parenting? Or do you want to work on the relationship.?

Consistency with your actions first begins with clarity in your mind.