Pregnant, Abandoned Twice, Affairs OW (3)

[AnnKay]

Thank you, Valeska for posting.

I'm glad you have support. It will help calm the fear and allow you to make the best decisions for YOU and the kids.

and thanks for reminding me it is about ME and the kids, and what H does is just what parents need to do, and nothing to do with our relationship. Lines do get blurry sometimes in my head and I fear that if we do have a D whether anyone will ever be as good as him with my children.

don't have kids but I do know what it's like to walk on eggshells. It's no way to live.

Noone should live like that. How do you know enough is enough and how do you define your limits to this sort of interactions? I'm afraid that if I don't draw the line, with all the lack of sleep and stress on top of it will make me depressed and unable to care for my children.

AK - you have no control over what H does. You constantly adjusting your feeling and communication out of way to "control" his behavior is a false safety net.

Sure he may be going through the motions of work.. but his heart is very much still a WAS. You did a great job walking away.
Anger is good. It is a warning signal to tell us something is wrong!

I can sense he is still very much WAS even if he tries to say otherwise, his actions shows differently. I know I can't control what he does, but how do I get him to work on our piecing if me communicating this is "controlling"?

This is out of your control. He's not ready to hear it yet. I would suggest letting the conversation go for now.

Yes, I guess this is something i need to let go at the moment.