It doesn't sound like her moving out is an imminent worry, anyway.
Thanks for your input, Traveler. That's very true and I often forget about the maxim, "Believe none of what they say and half of what they do." By the way, is that geared toward a MLC spouse or any wayward/walkaway spouse?
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So? Moving out isn't in your best interests. From a custody and finance perspective, she would possess the family home, a huge asset and more comfortable for the kids. She would likely end up with more overnights with custody and support consequences. That's why we keep saying like a broken record to speak to an attorney before making any plans about moving out. Perhaps most importantly, not many success stories here begin with the LBS moving out. You joined because you wanted to save your marriage, rebuild trust, and have that family for your kids? If you've changed your mind, sleep on that a few days before acting and then plan with your attorney and speak through actions intended to best protect you and your kids' rights!
Very true. To your point, since I joined the forum, I have been foaming at the mouth a little over boundaries and respect regarding W merrily forging ahead, texting her EA partner with impunity, with no reverence for the institution of marriage. I'm seemingly vacillating between "Yeah, I hope to save things" and "I'm out! I'm done!" Any rebuilding of trust would appear to be light-years away.
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"No, that doesn't work for me." Listen and validate the many feeling that may arise for her (show her Doug54 at his best--able to be fully present and emotionally available!). Do not counterattack, argue, justify, defend, etc.
Excellent. Though since I've started detaching, she's sought me out more to ask what's going on, am I mad? I don't know if emotionally available Doug54 would elicit the same reaction. But I get what you're saying about validation.
