toughtimes180, Not sure I love the tone of "can't freaking wait"...we are here to save marriages after all. Are you doing anything to become a better husband?
I appreciate this board is all about saving the marriage and I came here to do just that. However since BD2, I've come to the realization that she's a narcissist, and there has been a lot of abuse during the M as well as post BD1 and BD2. I've decided to help D along on my terms and in that regard, now, I have no desire to save M or to be a better H. It's about a better TT180 as a person and TT180 as a better father.
I know this does go against the ethos of this board, but I believe that not all M should be saved. I see this board is about being the best partner, as H, ExH, or as a future H with a priority to save the M, but it seems not always.
In terms of DB, it's minimal because there is minimal contact. I'll be lucky to validate once or twice a week. It's not that it's a hostile environment, it's not. We're just raising the kids, and keeping conversations to just the kids. All D stuff is by email only. She's throwing everything she's got at frustrating the sitch by email, and I'm always keeping cool.
So, yeah, I freaking can't wait to move out, clear the air, and focus on me without interference.
If STBXW came to me a year from now to get together it'll be no. No, because it would be an attempt to love bomb. No, because of what she is (a narcissist) and will never change. No because I have no desire to be her primary supply again. I've never been so sure of this as now.
So not everyone will like my tone and optimism about D, but let me put it this way. Two friends have said I'm the happiest they've ever seen me, dispite recent events. So that says something.
