Originally Posted by OnlyBent
Not sure BL was pushing for physical separation. He stated his opinion, IHS is very difficult. From my experience I totally agree.

Of course it's difficult... but there ARE benefits to being in proximity IF you can stay detached.. Peter didn't ask BL his opinion. Nor did BL ask if Peter was considering leaving. We have no idea what a physical separation will bring Peter.

[quote=OnlyBent]I’m also not sure that DBing is about ensuring that she can see your changes. I was of the understanding that the changes are for you and who cares if the other person sees them or not. but if you are hoping they do, like staying IHS just so they can, it makes the changes seem disingenuous.

That's not what I said at all. I said the same exact thing. All I said was that she won't get to see his changes...which is true. Who cares you ask? People who want to save their marriages! It's not disingenuous to be consistent with your changes and want to show those changes to your spouse as a form of validation. The doing in "for you" is keeping consistent in those changes regardless of her response.

Originally Posted by OnlyBent
I must say I’m a bit over hearing all this talk of the boards aren’t what they used to be. They are what they are, the reminiscing doesn’t help anyone. If you don’t like something, or wish it to be a certain way, then be the one to try and change it rather than sit around and talk about the good ol days.

Woah OB..that's not what I have said or anyone for that matter. The boards are based on Michelle's teaching... if they stray from that... we should guide it back. That's what the vets are talking about.


M(f): 40
D'ed: 8/12

Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.

Love at all costs because you are loved well.