Single tired female too

[BL42]

Ginger1,

On the plane she saw her dad messaging his married friend, who is also his W’a best friend.

So not just an affair...but one with his current W's best friend? Wow.

For anyone who would love to see their the affair blow when the kids are involved. Well, it’s gods awful.

I'll admit I'm one who has had wishes of ExW & OM2 blowing up. I hate to see the impact to your daughter though. That's tough. As messed up as it is your Ex left when she was so young, she's had some stability in a sense with their relationship. I can imagine it'd be shocking for her, and very upsetting. As a father I need to prepare for my own young children having their life disrupted again at some point, because as much as it seems like it right now, what are the odds my ExW and OM2 last until the kids are off to college.

My poor baby has been absolutely sick to her stomach. She is terrified. She is terrified that her dad will not love her.

I do not claim to know the right answer, but for those advocating she tell her dad's current W...just consider that it is her father and there's going to be an emotional part of feeling of betrayal if she does that. Maybe it should come out in another way?

Her biggest fear is that her dad is a bad person .

Great you're getting a counselor involved. It's often said people marry partners who are similar to their opposite sex parent. Maybe if there's a silver lining to this she'll be more aware of that? As a mother, use this opportunity to teach her about the red flags and not rushing into a bad situation and recognizing the treats of her dad so as not to seek that out in a partner herself in the next decade or two as she's dating seriously?

She says she’s always known that her dad cheated on me with his wife.

Goes to show you the truth almost always comes out even far down the line. The kids know/figure it out.

My poor baby has been absolutely sick to her stomach. She is terrified. She is terrified that her dad will not love her. She a terrified this is going to change everything . Her biggest fear is that her dad is a bad person . She’s carrying this heavy heavy heavy weight . Shes afraid to be in the same room as the 3 of them. She says she’s always known that her dad cheated on me with his wife.

I can’t even articulate how mature and emotionally intelligent what she expressing to me. I have this whole new respect for my daughter.

It's goes to your parenting. It's a reflection of you!

Ginger1 - Hang in there. You're a wonderful mother and your experiences and lessons learned will help you help your daughter deal with this situation. Just be there for her, as I'm sure you will.