Did that make Andrew the affair partner twice over ?
That certainly was the consensus here. There was even an active campaign to have me banned from the forum. Sigh.
Andrew, I have not followed your sitch regularly so I am not familiar with the details, but I am sorry this happened to you. No one should be judging another person based on their personal morals. Morals are personal and vary from person to person. As long as there is nothing illegal being done, a relationship between two consenting adults is their decision. People can give advice based on what they think could go wrong or things that are being overlooked in the fog of limerence, but there should be no backlash especially in a support forum such as this one. Sorry this happened to you!
In the specific case of G's current sitch, I don't think there is anything wrong with what she is doing here. The confusion was because she had given the impression that she was looking for something specific from a relationship. Hence many (perhaps not all) posters were looking out for her and cautioning against repeating previous mistakes. But it is possible her relationship goals have changed or that she has grown over time to handle things better so this time will be different. Perhaps, she is making a mistake again and will continue to learn. Whatever the case, I don't feel implying she is the OW in the relationship is productive. Yes, I understand we have a lot of LBS in this forum and they are sensitive to this, but that is something they need to work on. Perhaps they can mute this thread and not see what G is doing. It is not G's responsibility to live up to other people's moral standards.
Originally Posted by Ginger1
What would he do differently? He said he ignored so many red flags. He had long term relationship that had ended (not right before they met) and he felt his marital clock ticking I guess
You guess or he told you?
Originally Posted by Ginger1
And he can say now he believes in marriage and would absolutely do it again.
When did he stop believing in marriage? Did he not believe in marriage when he got married previously? If his wife was as bad as you write, I doubt a divorce from such a person after a short lived marriage would destroy someone's faith in the institution of marriage itself. So, what made him lose faith in marriage? And what life changing experience did he have that he believes in marriage now?
