If I could give young LH19 advice when he found out his w was texting another man, I would tell him to tell her calmly “I know what you’re up to, you can’t have both. It’s either him or me”. Than act accordingly to her answer.
Easy for me to say now as I’m on the other side.
I get it...I do. I've wondered how that would look given both W and I are on the mortgage. Neither of us could technically kick the other out. I happen to have more family in the area, but do I want to move out? Is the rule of thumb generally that the person seeking the divorce should exit the home to start the separation process?
Oh I’m not talking about kicking her out I am talking about divorcing her. Again I’m not advocating that for you, it’s a perspective after hindsight and reading 1,000 of stories. Generally you will negotiate who keeps the house in the divorce settlement. So if ultimatums and boundaries are off the table it comes down to you deciding and becoming the man you want to be moving forward. If that person becomes super awesome maybe it attracts your W back and maybe it doesn’t. Your W is actually doing the same thing right now except I suspect you are not the person she is trying to attract. What would Doug 2.o look like on paper?
