My narcissist ex was charming and publicly altruistic. He participated in fundraisers (with the “cool people”), worked on mosquito born disease prevention (as part of trips to exotic surfing destinations). But when my brother was falsely accused of a crime and we had to kick in 1/4 of his bail money (split evenly among my family members, even though we were much better off financially than the others - and the amount we paid was only $2500, something we could afford) - well, he groped and moaned and I never heard the end of it.
