I thought he was leaving for 2 weeks which is why you had to accept the Thursday date, 4 days after the first. THIS is what I mean by inconsistency. One thing is said while another is done. 3 dates in 8 days. Okay…
There is NOTHING wrong with what you are doing. It’s just very inconsistent and in some ways opposite of what you’ve claimed to want and clearly opposite of the advice and comments you’ve given to others. That’s all I’m saying. It’s not wrong but it is wildly inconsistent.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
What I want right now is to enjoy time with someone. I’m not staring ahead at the future. So far he has shown me interest, consistency, ability to plan dates , etc. and it’s funny how the double standard is when a guy does do that he is “desperate and needy” and when they don’t do that they are “emotionally unavailable”
I just said there is a fine line between very interested and desperate and needy. Just like a fine line between who can say "you look beautiful".
Originally Posted by Ginger1
I think it is also assumed that men do the level of research on dating and attraction you do. But most do not. Sometimes they just do whatever is feeling right without paying attention to rule and time tables . Sometimes it backfires, sometimes it works.
I'd say it backfires more often. If this was CW you would be telling him the same thing.
Originally Posted by Ginger1
We are just 2 people who enjoy each others company ALOT me don’t feel the need to abide some rules. We like to spend time together.
This is making me feel uncomfortable.
Originally Posted by Ginger1
He likes me, I like him. We spend time together . If it was a girlfriend I would do the same. We don’t have a “once a week” rule.
What's the rush? Have you ever heard less is more? It's like when a stripper takes it all off in the first 15 seconds of the song.
Originally Posted by Ginger1
I am in this moment very happy with how things are going.
Fingers crossed
I guess I have to ask since you are so gaga. Did you sleep with him?
I like that he’s planning dates ahead. I’m just wondering how the “we’re just friends who kiss” conversation came about? 1) Was that him trying to push you away? Or 2) you trying to jump into the breach and reassure him that you could be that casual?
If it’s the first - we’ll, I’d say his actions are belying his words, and if you let him make all the moves and are careful to not always be available, he might come around sooner than you think. (On the other hand, Mr Big Lots, who was a classic Love Avoidant, pursued me with frequent dates in the first couple weeks before becoming more unavailable. )
If it’s the second - don’t sell yourself short and don’t be in a hurry convince a guy you’re “okay” with something that’s less than what you want.
I’m just wondering how the “we’re just friends who kiss” conversation came about?
I think it went something like this:
Dude: Can we be BF and GF? G: No it's been only one date and a call and you are married Dude: Well will you sleep with me? G: No it's been only one date and a call and you are married Dude: Well what can we be? G: I know "Just kissing friends" Dude: YAY!
I’m just wondering how the “we’re just friends who kiss” conversation came about?
I think it went something like this:
Dude: Can we be BF and GF? G: No it's been only one date and a call and you are married Dude: Well will you sleep with me? G: No it's been only one date and a call and you are married Dude: Well what can we be? G: I know "Just kissing friends" Dude: YAY!
LOL!
This is actually quite amusing . It went down not even close to that. and no, I did not have sex with him
KML- he’s doesn’t come across as avoidant at all. And truth be told, after this week neither os us will be too available. If I’m not available I won’t make myself available. If I am available, I accept his invitations.
KML- he’s doesn’t come across as avoidant at all.
They often don’t in the very beginning. As my BFF once said “Love Avoidants need love too”, and if they didn’t put out SOME effort in the beginning they would just be completely celibate.
I’m glad he isn’t giving off a “Love Avoidant vibe”, but it’s pretty early to tell, so keep your antennae up.
I don’t agree D. Someone who is far along in the divorce process as he is, I don’t consider to be “cheating” on their spouse. If what he says is true (and we have no reason to believe it isn’t) then it’s all over but settling the final business part.
It’s a risk for G because there’s always a possibility if reconciliation (which doesn’t completely go away after a completed divorce), but there’s no evidence in this story that G would be culpable in any way in this divorce.
It’s an affair when you date someone who is in a marriage, not someone who has left the marriage and is far into the divorce process once they meet. Heck, my ex and I were only halfway through the 18 month process of our divorce when he met his current wife, but I never considered her an OW and Bear her no I’ll will. She wasn’t involved in our divorce and neither is G involved in this guys divorce.
