So I'm still self blaming, and my IC is still asking me why I self blame so much.
Good you recognize it. Keep working on it. Don't let his words and actions ruin your self worth.
Thanks. Again, super validating to hear you say WS pushes for LBS to have therapy. It never felt like he said it from a place of love, but rather holier than thou/power trip.
Originally Posted by BL42
He may actually be being completely honest and transparent with you here. Remember how WAS/WS like cake-eating? He's telling you in a straightforward manner that he likes having sex with you, but that does not mean he's changed his mind about having a relationship with you. There are many WAS/WS out there who are perfectly happy using the LBS for sex, or companionship, or favors...etc., while not wanting to give up their affair or separation/D. Not saying it's right, but it's common. So, you might consider taking him at his word on this one. BUT, know your boundaries and enforce them. If having sex with him knowing he still wants to leave you doesn't make you comfortable (and it shouldn't), then don't.
Yep, dep said didn't want that anymore. Thought of it honestly grosses me out. Who acts in such a stupid way? He always tries to come off as such a woke feminist too.
Originally Posted by BL42
You don't know what the IC is telling him. For all you know his IC might be advising him on all the items you listed, but he's completely ignoring the advice. I remember my ExW mentioned in one of our (3) MC sessions she had a big disagreement with her IC one session. Complete speculation on my part, but always wondered if her IC was pushhing back on her affair and plans to divorce me and break up our family for our two young kids and that was why my then-ExW had a rough session with her. Who knows. It's natural to speculate and wonder, but the quicker you can move to focusing on what you can control the better.
Great point. When I asked him why his IC didn't tell him that was all stupid he said I didn't understand the point of therapy and that's not how it works.
Originally Posted by BL42
Originally Posted by kml
Making you hide your pregnancy? That gives me creepy true crime murder show vibes.
Completely agree. Scumbag move for sure. Remember he's showing you who he really is, so believe it.
Yeah, I don't think he feels it was creepy or scummy because he's "honoring his emotions". He felt a lot of inspiration by this book where a woman left her family to find herself and true love after she realized she was queer. Really upset me, I was like....pretty sure this book isn't directed at you! He told me I couldn't understand. SO yeah. Creepy and scummy tendances all explained by whatever trash he's reading at the time.
