It’s a short term marriage and no children came from it.
Originally Posted by Ginger1
Papers are almost signed. He closes on his new place tomorrow.( he was not living with her in the meantime )
That's maybe better.
Originally Posted by Ginger1
She was a manipulative binge drinker and abusive when she drank.
Do you know this for sure, or that his side of the story? I know some of what ExW told her family and friends about me, and there were plenty of lies, falsehoods, and exaggerations to justify her actions.
Originally Posted by Ginger1
We had a candid open talk last night . He’s not the “I’m free woohoo type” but we both agreed that he does need his time single and to take a breather from everything . We agreed to be friends that kiss, lol. I have decided I am not going to have sex with him and I told him as much and he’s completely understanding . He’s seriously kind sweet and empathetic. We know timing timing stinks.
Good conversation, but kissing friends usually turns into more pretty quickly as adults.
Originally Posted by Ginger1
Anyways, for the men out there. Does he have a good career stay fit and dress nice, and drive a decent car ? Yes. Ia that attractive ? Sure. But the most attractive part of his is his genuinity, not trying to be a certain way because he thinks that’s what women wants. He comes as his self . And we can sniff out when men are trying to be what they think a woman wants to be rather than just being themselves . Vulnerability , honesty, good conversation that goes beyond the surface level. Very attractive. His love for his family is as well.
Good feedback. Thanks for sharing. I think sometimes the career/fitness/style/car come across a lot more quickly than some of the others, but good to hear a woman's perspective on the subject.
Originally Posted by Ginger1
I decided I wasn’t going to respond, I was creeped. He sent another text and I blocked him. And then yesterday he tried to send me a facebook friend request.
Originally Posted by LH19
And yeah ditch him immediately.
^Agreed. That is creepy. No response and block him completely.
Me:39 Ex-W:37 M:7 T: 9 S:6 D:3 BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20 OM1 affair ends: May '20 W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20 W files for D: Jul20 OM2 confirmed: 9/2020 Divorced: May '21
Well… BECAUSE ITS NOT!!!!!!! Eight weeks? He has no business even dating. That’s at least what the old DB board would have told him. And ginger's rule was not to date anyone separated at all and date those only Dd for at least a year. I’m positive that was posted multiple times.
But this is better than no date at all? Is that what it is? Because clearly you’ve been on many more dates this year than I have - or at least it seems like it. And I guess if it’s just a date, something to do and that’s it, well no big deal. But we all know it’s more than that. A casual date is not what you claim to want - but it is what you’ll accept. Clearly multi hour phone calls is not casual. I think most of us know what a newly separated, not even filed (I think that’s the case) not divorced male is looking for. I mean Ray Charles can see this one.
Guys who show you some attention are your Kryptonite. You deserve better.
As for the scammer guy. Women have ghosted for far, far, far less. For some it’s standard operating procedure in place of just being honest and forthcoming. That’s not you. But in this case don’t just ghost - stop, block and RUN!!!
Please do not accept any less than you deserve.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
Male attention is NOT my kryptonite. I’ve gotten plenty of unwanted male attention.
What IS my kryptonite is the ease of ability to talk and connect. I could literally carry a conversation with anyone. Someone with depth, vulnerability, mutual views and likes where we could literally talk forever ? My kryptonite for sure.
His divorce is indeed filed. I would only know if his reasons were true if I spoke to her. But who really gets to hear the other side.
Im just enjoying my time. That is all. Im having dinner tomorrow night. No more, no less
As far as “rebound guy” I don’t think that is so accurate. 4 months isn’t 4 weeks. So far we are having a blast getting to know each other . We have long phone calls nearly every night, and he’s coming over tomorrow night, he’s going to cook me dinner and we are going to watch a movie. We are going to a concert together next Friday.
He is absolutely not avoidant. He has no problem talking about what he wants, expressing his feelings, etc. he’s employed, self sufficient, can go with the flow and deal well with change. We are on the same page about a lot of stuff and we just really have enjoyed our time together so far.
Something just feels…. Right. And comfortable and good.
Man, this went from 0-60 in 3 seconds flat. From friends and leisurely seeing where it goes to ILU’s to anxiety.
I remember getting the above--I was going "0-60 in 3 seconds" when I had sex with K three weeks into dating and agreed to exclusivity four weeks into dating. To be clear, I hadn't said "ILU" or "GF/BF" yet. Others aren't in your shoes. If you're being open with these guys, and you're having a good time 4 out of 5 days, who cares what others think?
I've stopped writing about my dating adventures here but I had great sex Monday, had a great hike with her today, and am going on a day trip with her this weekend. I'm getting to know somebody and having fun. Enjoy your journey. Adjust if you often come home crying (as you had previously) or can't enjoy a night alone without chatting with guys.
