Running out of steam!

[COG]

Alright, now I need some input. I just had a conversation with W that is concerning to me. While we have been enjoying our relatively new found freindship over the past few months, physical intimacy still eludes us. She loves our friendship and enjoys our fun times together but becomes very uncomfortable with anything beyond friendship.

I explained that I was growing tired of waiting for her feelings to change (3 years now). She has so many interests other than our marriage. Between kids, her workouts, friends, and other functions, she goes non-stop. She has the busiest life of anyone I have ever seen and our marriage gets low billing. I am just stuffed into one of her compartments.

I kept my tone honest, and friendly. We started to discuss D. I admitted that I am running out of steam. That my feelings for her were diminishing because they were not being nurtured or appreciated. After some time she said that she is ready to D but has just been too afraid to admit it. Also she reminded me that she had told me that on two other occasions in the past year. She also said that she just does'nt have the energy or desire to go further with the R. Then a few moments later she tells me that we have such a great friendship that we could build on. That she loves and cares about me. That D is so final it's hard to go there. She starts thinking about how difficult life will be with us and the kids(4). But she's growing tired of limbo too.

As far as I know she still does not have an OM. I believe she does'nt, but she has many close male friends. I am getting very tired of always being there for her, when her heart is not in it. It's getting very old to just wait and hope that her feelings change. I'm ready for action. I suggested that we try romance for a time period and if it does'nt work then we will have tried everything and should give up without guilt. She is going to think about it but I am reasonably sure her answer will be, "I just can't go there right now".

I met a nice young lady over the weekend and realize how exciting a new affair would be. I am also realistic about how complicated my life could become when I go down that road. Would her kids and my kids get along? Would she turn out to be a nightmare? If I start another relationship, would my W all off a sudden find her feelings? This really sucks! Our life would be so easy if W would just not be so [censored] selfish.

Is divorce as scary as I think it is? Should I give up? Should I press my W to "fake it until she makes it"? Which one of us is more stupid? Sometimes I feel like such a sucker. I am tired of limbo!

venting,

COG