WAW Hired a Divorce Coach (Cont12.)

[BL42]

ScottB,

I've moved on from that for now and I would say there is a current peace with the ex.

Good. It's probably going to come and go for some time, and even if you were married you'd have disagreements about raising the kids (though admittedly more challenging divorced).

I've got all the payments for child support, spousal support, and a loan I owe her set up to be automated - so though I'm aware of all of it, I'm not actually paying them actively.

How did you automate it? That's been on my list - hate the hassle of writing / exchanging checks each month - but hasn't bubbled up to the top of my priorities yet.

I'm still angry about all of it, even though I think I'm happier, freer, and have better relationships with the kids. I've done a lot of work over the past two years on connecting with my feelings and though I'd like to move past it (and I continue to work on it), I just feel angry. I assume that will continue for some time.

Yeah. I hear you. A lot of anger to process for sure.

I got an email this week from ExW about a medical issue for my son and she referred to a man and his ExW who had a kid in my son's class and had experience with the doctor. I know (and assume my ExW does) that this guy had an affair, got his AP pregnant, and divorced his W, and had to leave the hospital and go to the other medical provider...just like my ExW did!!! What a jerk. Even though the email was related medical referrals, not relationships, it got my anger bubbling she would bring up this guy's name. Gotta let go...

Things are just harder being divorced - not having a division of labor.

I hear you. Still a lawn to mow, a house to clean, and grocery shopping to do. Feels like we're doing it all now. My cleaners came earlier today though and the house looks/smells great, so that's a nice feeling.

Other than that, I continue to enjoy my freedom. I took the kids on a vacation to Bermuda, which was a lot of fun.

Awesome! You're making such great memories with them. They'll appreciate it. Keep it up, dad :-)

I'm still trying to figure out how to balance work and kids and my own social life. That is definitely harder, and I know this is an area where most single parents struggle. I'm still trying to figure out how to find success in the area of balance - but that's hard.

Agreed. Tough making the kids a priority, still focusing on work, and trying to set up social life in-between. Wish I had an answer. Sounds like the trips you've lined up are fantastic though.

Keep it up ScottB! You're making progress!