WAW w/Exit Affair or WW? - 1 Year Divorced (7)

[BL42]

I had an out of town getaway this past weekend for my college buddy's (second) wedding. W1 also went to college with us so we all knew and were friends her, but the two of them live quite a distance so we didn't often see each other post-graduation except for events like weddings. I remember she wasn't drinking at my wedding and they announced she was pregnant with their second child. Then, a year or two later they were separated and divorced. I remember back then being shocked how two friends of mine who seemed like a good couple and who had two young children (one barely a toddler) getting divorced. Now, I guess with my experience I can understand how it happened.

As far as I know the two of them separated/divorced amicably. They kept posting pictures on social media about going to places together with the kids and great co-parenting. And I talked to him after my own BD to get some insight / perspective and he thought they got along well and said maybe 50/50 at the time about them reconciling at some point in the future. I'm not aware of any affair and my understanding is he met W2 after the D, and W1 is not in another relationship currently.

There was some talk about the situation at the wedding. My friend's sister mentioned "meeting at the first time around with W1" in the elevator to me. I made a faux pas referring to "groom and W1" instead of W2 to a couple who was there as friends of W2...opps. And my good buddy and some other college friends of the groom even wondered out loud before the wedding if W1 might be in attendance (because of the amicable nature).

I do wonder how W1 felt over the weekend. I imagine it might be emotional for her, even if the D was a mutual decision.

It was my first wedding since BD. I wasn't anxious to go alone or about feelings potentially stirring up related to my situation, mostly just excited to see friends. However, I'll tell you the moment that did really hit me hard and deep - it was when the groom's two children (approx two years older than mine) walked down the aisle and were part of the ceremony of their one parent and not their other parent. It made me reflect on my situation and thinking of my own kids potentially being apart of another wedding with ExW and OM2 and I got sad and teared up honestly. I know mine are already merged into a different family life part time, regardless of a wedding/legal marriage, but still get emotional and have a hard time accepting that occasionally. The good news is groom's / W1's kids seemed happy and the ceremony and were tearing up the dance floor at the reception, so hopefully it was all good for them...but it did twinge my own heart a bit as a dad who is still working on "Surviving the Big D".

Anyway, I was mostly excited to be reunited all our close college buddies for the first time since before COVID. Unfortunately two of our really close friends backed out at the last minute. And their wives I know and were friends with as well. That was disappointing. Kind of ruined our big "reunion" with everything there. However, I did have a great time catching up the day before and of the wedding with one close friend and his new girlfriend and a high school buddy who also happens to live in that city, and we toured all around. That was a blast.

Overall I'm glad I made the (long) trip and could catch up with several friends I hadn't seen in years.

A couple wedding weekend observations I made relevant to recent discussions on the forum:

-The groom met W2 via OLD (Hinge, I believe) after the divorce. So it does work sometimes! She's beautiful, energetic, happy, family first kind of girl (if what I observed/heard is to be believed) and has certainly embraced being a stepmom to the kids, so I guess that's all you can ask for them.

-My other college buddy and his new girlfriend met through an OLD site (not sure which) before the pandemic. She seemed super friendly and they seemed happy at first, but then a lot of the weekend the two were bickering and passive aggressive and so I left not being exactly sure about their relationship. Time will tell and I wish them the best, but they need to communicate and work on some things or they'll have issues even if they do "make it".

-My high school buddy seems well enough but I just get a sense him and his W relationship isn't the best. He doesn't seem thrilled with things and has mentioned issues she's had about not holding a job due to focus...etc. I don't know. He's one of my oldest friends. Hope he's happy.

-Met a couple at our table where the guy was significantly older than his girlfriend. The rest of the table was all speculating and we put the timeline together that he's 55+ and she was gotta be younger than 40, maybe 35? He did not look that old. He was in-shape, dressed well, shaven head, very engaging and sociable (we all liked him) and mentioned he had sold his company and went corporate. She was incredibly attractive, high heels, tight dress, very sociable / likeable as well and could definitely date any single guy her age. They were self-described as boyfriend / girlfriend, not engaged or married, no kids. It'd be interesting to follow along with their relationship to see what happens, but they were on the bride's "side" of the wedding, so I'm not connected on social media or anything.

Anyway...thought those observations were interesting in light of recent discussions here. 4 couples, 2 happy / 2 (potentially) unhappy. 2 met on OLD (must have some success), plus the age / attraction dynamic. Everything looked at through the DB'ing lens these days...