I meant to write this last week but only just got to it. It must feel very unfair that things have seemed to have worked out for XH and you have been struggling on many fronts for a long time. I can totally understand that feeling of unfairness, although 2 years doesn't quite compare to 14.
I'm not sure if I've told this story on here before, but my parents split when I was 9 months old, leaving my Mum single with 4 kids on a public school teacher's wage. My Dad never really paid enough child support (perhaps he couldn't afford it, I'm not sure) but he remarried 5 years later and life seemed pretty good for him too. How my Mum did it for all those years, I have no idea.
When I was 15 she met a great guy, who she married and is now my stepdad. They've been married since 1997 and seem completely happy and life is good for them. But what she has told me, that even if she hadn't have met him she would have been happy and at peace in her life with the knowledge that she struggled through and saw her kids be successful in life, thanks to her efforts.
I know life must seem unfair and hard but I do believe that things work out for good people such as yourself. And for these good things to happen we just need to keep believing that they will and make ourselves open to it. I always think about this Italian cartoon I once saw, then saw it adapted for American usage:
A man is at the Lincoln Memorial begging and pleading to win the lottery. Lincoln replies 'please, please, please buy a lotto ticket'.
Me: 41 W:42 T: 14 M: 11 S: 6
"What happened happened, and couldn't have happened any other way...because it didn't"
