WAW w/Exit Affair or WW? - 1 Year Divorced (7)

[LH19]

Him and his W went to a predominately engineering / high male ratio college but had a hockey team seen as the athletic cool guys who apparently she hooked up and dated a few before they were together, so maybe she's having fantasies/flashbacks about that.

Women love the bad boys.

I told him to start acting out of strength and flipping his mindset that he's the prize and she's crazy if she leaves him.

You are a good friend BL.

Stop being weak and making excuses about "just being friends" and "helping her friend out with a breakup". She's cheating and lying, and he needs to recognize and accept that and act accordingly.

Exactly!

Also to try to release control. It's gonna be her journey and he can't force her to do anything - if she's going to PA he can't stop it. He has to focus on himself.

But he has a say in what he will or ill not tolerate

I'm honestly not sure what to say about how to deal with the calling and texting of the EA.

So DB says detach, 180, GAL which as we no NEVER works. Hindsight LH19 says "You can't have both. It's either him or me". If you choose him get your $hit and get out.

And he's had check ins with her about it, which I told him to stop.

Hey hun you still cheating on me?

Honestly the two of them...he's a high performer engineer for an aerospace company and she's a PA for a medical organization. Just estimating but they must make $300-400k between them, have two wonderful children in grade school (around my kids age maybe a year or two older), beautiful home in the suburbs of a big city. No abuse, no drugs, no money issues...etc. It's this seemingly idyllic two kids and a picket fence life which most dream of, but as we know around here that doesn't matter. I just hate to see things blow up. It'd be a tragedy for everyone involved, him, the kids, and (imo) even her.

Sad but predictable. He probably dropped the ball as a H and she became board and reconnected on FB. Welcome to the 2000s!