Saving Pack through D, Pack_19 part V

[Pack_19]

Hi Pack,

It sounds like you're doing all the right things.

I also spend time thinking about whether WW would come back but she seems perfectly fine with OM and her new life. She sees the kids even less than she used to since she got a job in the state she moved to.

Recently some of our mutual friends have started unfriending me on social media - I suppose it's to be expected. Those that haven't are cold and don't reach out.

I don't speak to WW at all - there is zero communication. I use an app for scheduling kid stuff. When WW picks up my kids on Friday evenings, she'll park in the driveway, but I don't go out or say anything to her. It really is out of sight out of mind. She no longer lives or works in the state she grew up in.

My youngest daughter is starting to warm up to me now and gave me a hug today and told me she appreciates all that I do, so it's the little things like this that matter.

I think time is a wonderful healer - but it can be an awfully long time and given how our WW spouses leave us and create so much damage, I doubt whether any of us can truly move on for good without being reminded of the past. We just have to make the best of a bad situation and lead our own life.

Hi Drh2001,

Thanks for the message. I do not have the full story behind your sitch but based on the fact that you mention OM and your youngest daughter opening up to you I imagine you have suffered so much, lean on me whenever you need, I can imagine how you must have felt.

I am sure you have room to give yourself to your daughter so that she will continue to warm up, love on her, talk to her and try to make new memories. Continue to work on yourself as a man and father, it is the most rewarding consequence of this purgatory.

Not sure about the time, I am confident it will help me heal but I will never fully get over the damage caused by the person I had planned to have as my life companion. But hey, it is a world of abundance and right now all I have to do is become the best possible role model for my children. I never want my little boys to go through this hell I have experienced.

Pack, I am with Drh, I think you are doing all the right things. I have no advice for you or thoughts about how to work through the feelings you are having. I think those are normal, and just have to be worked through. Only suggestion I have is that when those moods strike, get up and get busy doing something productive. GAL is a new lifelong thing, just keep as busy as you can.

Hi SteveLW, deep inside my head I know I am doing the right things, all the good books I have resonate on the same ideas. Focus on yourself, cover your needs, be happy alone, confident, keep busy, set goals, own and express your feelings, set boundaries with others, know and handle the differences between men and women, be outgoing and social or improve spiritually.

The good thing is that I have surrounded myself with activities to fight these thoughts. Running and crossfit, calisthenics, riding the motorbike, my books, shopping for sport clothes hahahaha

thanks for the help and validation. I am sure Sandi would be proud of me if she could read this, I am going to continue to make her so. It is wonderful how much you have helped me change sitting behind a computer screen. Thank you all!