Still not divorced

[BL42]

Gigi123,

I do see my friend as much as i can, however i do find that most of my friends have families, its a different dynamic isnt it.

Yes, for sure. The folks with marriages and families can't always go out for dinner and drinks on a whim, and the single folks don't necessarily understand the commitments of being a parent. I find myself alternating between the two. It's been difficult developing friendships with families with kids of similar age to mine as I tend to find it's the woman/wife who coordinates things and are less incline to include a father. I'd love to have some go-to families of kids with similar ages to go to activities or on trips with. Something to work on.

I meditate on and off and im hoping to integrate this into my daily routine

i exercise at home

I volunteer at the kids school when i can

Good stuff. Maybe something a bit more social for yourself. Meditating and exercise are good, but am home alone. Volunteering at school can help you meet people. But any passions or interest or hobbies which will get you out of the house and enthusiastic and meeting people?

I felt it was overstepping, so i have asked him why he felt the need to bring her on my day, he just huffed.

So i decided to go straight to the problem and an hour or so later when she was standing in her own i have approached her asked he if she felt it was a good idea for her to come.

I completely agree with the whole situation is inappropriate - both living with your husband and her showing up at events - but the thing is you can't control it. It's hard to accept, but we simply can't. And it's unlikely a conversation with H and OW is going to help. You see how he brushed you aside, and is she going to stop showing up because of your chat? Unlikely. Obviously she has no shame about living with your husband and flaunting it publicly anyway.

Speaking to her was nothing to do with H, it was about boundaries and where she stands with my children.

Not sure this is really a boundary. You don't want her showing up at your kids' school events. Definitely understandable. But you also can't control her behavior. How would you enforce this "boundary". You can't. You can only take action on your own.

And i realised she is just a young girl who is clearly being lied to by H.

Very possible. But...that's her problem, not yours.