As far as these boards. Mach nailed it. There was a time you came here and got nothing but the truth. But that truth was meant to help push you along and not keep you stuck and really dig deep. The turn these boards made is not that it is harsh. It’s that it’s mostly validation centered and the tough love truth isn’t welcomed anymore.
Some comments I've received or witnessed have born far more resemblance to personal attacks than validation or loving attempts to tell tough "truths" (opinions). Setting aside those who are mean-spirited, I think on the Internet some are quicker to assume they know TheTruth and BeBlunt than they'd be with an acquaintance recounting a tough time in-person. That's maybe par for the Internet, but it's not "tough love". Tough love requires compassion. "Would I assume and say this in-person?" My $0.02 for those trying to help others. I get those who have given up on these forums. I miss AnotherStander; he gave me and others the most amazing advice in Newcomers. I'm still here, doing what I can to help the occasional Newcomers.
I can certainly say that I don't agree with you, but hey, whatever....
You are certainly entitled to your opinion...
Just so ya know....I have looked G in the eyes and told her the same things that I would post to her...
I would do that with any person that sits with me and asks me what I think. I owe that to them.
It is their choice what they do with that information. I have seen people grow and learn from it...and I have seen people that take their toys from the sandbox and go home....
The ones that have chosen to "hear" it, are some of the most amazing, self aware, genuine people that I have had the pleasure of calling a friend...
"The truth" , I personally would rather have 3 people telling me what they saw in my situation , be it harsh, be it truthful, be it hard to hear.....than I would to have 50 people giving me a participation trophy, and patting me on the back and saying "It's okay, I'm sorry".....
I have nothing to learn from, when I get the ribbon for just showing up...
One of the beautiful things from CHOOSING to post here, is that we take what we need, and discard the rest.
We look closely at the things that shoot those little stings up the back of our neck, because those are the things that typically, we do not like about our self.
If it stings ? You better look at it...
Compassion is as varied as the interpreter perceives it. Compassion to me means something different than it does to you if I am reading you correctly.
Compassion to me means that people care enough about what I am going through, or what they see in me, to help me through something. I get to choose how, and why that affects me, but their intentions are good, and pure.
Compassion is caring enough to be involved, and trying to make a difference....
Being involved, had always been the foundation that these boards were built on....
Compassion and truth were the bricks and mortar...
And of course. there was occasionally a sandbox, void of its toys, in the backyard....
Yeah now the board consists of people posting their chores and wanting attaboys from everyone.
