6 month old baby and upcoming divorce

[BL42]

Newborn,

He didn't try to hug me or make physical contact with me at all.

Not surprising based on what we know about the situation.

He seems completely chill with me spending time with other people, including other men (talked about going to a guy friend's place the other day).

Any chance you brought that up purposefully to test or get a rise out of him?

I remember one time getting upset with how much effort he put into trips with them when he wouldn't for ours, and him saying "Well I'm willing to go with you places too." Another time he admitted "I would rather spend time with other people than you to be honest".

Maybe some of your LBS rose colored glasses coming off? Reminds me of Jason Segel in "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" when he finds a new interest who treats him better and realizes Sarah only wanted him around to hold her purse and would completely ignore him at her premieres.

I know I sound like a broken record but why wouldnt' you fight for custody at all for the son that you didn't want but you love?

No clue on the custody front. As a father I can't relate to that at all. But lock it in while you can. You can always relax it and give more time later if he comes around.

Why wouldn't you try to make a marriage work if there's love there?

His actions are pretty clear. He had a good afternoon spent with your baby, but has other priorities most of the time. When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.

It doesn't matter I guess, and there's no point in trying to be in his head.

Very true. Don't spend your energy trying to figure him out - focus on yourself and your baby.

The more I DB the more I get it though. This distancing really isn't to try to get him back, it's just for me to fully move on.

Yes, exactly.

It really may be best for me to just not hang out with the STBX at all anymore.

If you can be completely detached and spend time together with your child, that's fine, but easier said than done - most can't. Space helps with detachment.