toughtimes, I get what you are saying. Sometimes the advice here seems counter-intuitive.
"My STBXW is making my life miserable!" "Oh, sounds like you have more personal growth to make."
But that is the point of DBing. Counter-intuitively controlling what you can, and letting go of what you cannot. That was my biggest learning through my own situation. Learning that there was nothing I could do to alter her behavior, but I could learn to control my reaction and feelings towards what she was doing. But I have to say, once you get to a place where you let things roll off your back like water off of a duck, it applies to so many different areas of your life! It helps you cope with that difficult coworker. With jerks on the road. With trolls on the internet. Etc.
If you can get to a place where her words and actions have little to no effect on your psyche and feelings, since she was at one time the biggest part of your life, then the rest of the people you come into contact with will have absolutely no impact on you no matter how poorly behaved they are!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
