Spot on. I'm not pro divorce. It's just my STBXW did me a favor. I'm not wanting to save my marriage because it cannot be saved. It would take magic for her to change to what is needed. Ironically, she feels the same as me. The difference between this BD and last is that I woke up to the reality of emotional abuse and just how insidious it is. When I look at her behavior through that lense, it's made me question a lot about our entire marriage. I have a lot to contribute to the failure, and a lot of improvement, it's not all her. But where I thought I had to improve wasn't the case, it was the result of 12 years of gaslighting. Narcs have a very crafty way to justify why it's you. And this nice guy accepted that. The realization she has no capability of empathy is what finally made me feel I'm supporting this D and on my terms.
Steve, I've read NMMNG twice. It resonates, and some good stuff there. I've also read the book called attachment. It freaked me out as it explained anxious avoidant attachment (our marriage) quite accurately.
For now, I've had two days of practically no outbursts. Very odd. Quite relaxing actually.
