My little guy had a meltdown at my friend's house, he usually isn't a big crier but was losing it! My nanny told me that babies can basically really hate new or different settings, so that's a new thing for him, but since I wasn't aware I almost took him to the hospital because I just couldn't soothe him. Also a bit of stranger anxiety mixed in. Oof. But he was happy and smiling as soon as we got home.
I went to a dance lesson tonight. It was an activity exh and I did together - ballroom and salsa dancing etc. It's hard to go alone now to be honest since it was such a treasured couple's activity, but I hate giving up on an amazing hobby just because of him. My dance instructor is really sweet, when he asked how work is going with everything I told him fine, my nanny is absolutely incredible and willing to work long hours but I mentioned sometimes it's tough to get childcare on the weekend since ex has said I can't rely on him as he "doesn't want to be a parent, what do you think 'not wanting to be a parent' means??". Since I don't really want to make drama I just said sometimes i can't rely on G for childcare for work and he was just like.....you've really been through a lot.
Weird how many people say these things.
Exh has now started to come around at least to being agreeable to watch him when I'm running to the hospital on some weekends but has told me before I need backup in case his young, single, childfree, twenty-something friends want to go on a trip or concert. So I think for now full custody is definitely in my future. I took everyone's advice here and found a couple different babysitters to help out so this weekend I'm going to go to a good friend's birthday party.
Oddly enough yesterday I didn't miss exh at all, and today I keep foolishly thinking things will turn around.
