Wolfman moving forward 3

[BL42]

Wolfman,

I have a very interesting situation come up. I feel like gf is trying to create an exit strategy. It’s just something I feel deep down.

Trust your gut. Time to DB. Remember what I said two weeks ago...

This almost sounds like a mini-BD. Are you DB'ing accordingly? Keep working on yourself and being a great dad, and learn how to attract her and make her feel like you want her to be your woman.

She wants to go back into flying (that was her real job before the pandemic, she got laid off) for a new company.

How much would she make relative to you in the job?

Which means she would not be home a lot.

You live together, correct? She's living in your house or apartment?

Ask your attorney the range she would be awarded and pay her the minimum. Then, charge that amount in rent.

Interesting idea. Run it by an L. If she demands child support rent seems appropriate.

And for the last year on and off she has tried to convince me to let her put me on child support. I still don’t feel comfortable, once you get on child support it’s very difficult to get off.

This is a big red flag. Time to consult an L on both support obligations and custody! Knowledge = power.

I don’t have a good feeling in my gut.

Trust your gut.

How do I explain to her I don’t want to go on child support, regardless if it’s going to make child care very cheap?

"I'm not comfortable with that at this time."

"I'm not open to voluntary child support." You don't need to explain, justify, etc. Those conversations have tended to go south for you. Listen and validate her feelings about your choice. Leave her to figure out next steps--dropping it, calling an attorney, or squirreling away money, etc. Offer to setup couples' therapy a.s.a.p. if she wants to discuss it

^Agreed.