Single tired female

[BL42]

Ginger1,

I honestly can’t explain why our sexual chemistry is so good. I think sometimes it something that can’t be explained. It all just clicks.

Fair enough. Makes sense.

And guess what. No 6 pack, no 6 figures. And he is 5’8 on a good day ( I’m 5’3 and don’t need tall).

No way. That's hard to believe ;-)

Dude hasn’t reached out in 3 days. At all. This is what he did the last time.

So I don't think this is case here, but it's interesting to me all the dating / relationship materials I've seen online post-D all talk about the guy not being too eager at first and not over pursue - that women are more attracted to guys whose interest is unclear. Curious what your thoughts are on that.

Actually, I did make the decision yesterday I am going to talk to him about the child support.

Good! That's a good decision for you...and for your daughter.

I never readdressed it, and part of it was not wanting to rock the boat, and the other part is pride.

No need to worry about rocking the boat anymore...14 years in it is what it is. Pride? Wish my ExW had it LOL. You don't PLENTY as the primary single mom with no support - you deserve plenty of pride regardless of addressing support. Remember, it's not for you...it's for your daughter's needs.

But this is ridiculous. $88 a week in this economy and k have our kid most of the time ?

Agreed.

So I decided to kindly sit down and explain the situation. I will give him a choice. Either we file the paper work or we can agree on an amount. And I’d only ask for $100 more per month.

I'd recommend consulting a one-time consult with an L to explain the situation and numbers and have a professional give you a target. Maybe $100 more per month is actually low. A solid knowledge of where the courts might rule that will give you confidence in talking with ExH and firm up your stance so if he pushes back you just go ahead and file for review.

He should be able to swing that.

The way you word that makes it sound you're still tentative/concerned about the impact to him. Maybe not, but make sure you act on what's right for you and your daughter and not what might impact his ability to jet off to a tropical island by myself! If he can swing that, and maybe other vacations, he can chip in for his daughter's clothes and haircuts.

Anyways, he got his job because my dad and my stepmother have the state job he has now...and that is where he ended up meeting his wife. Ironic, right?

Ironic indeed. I bet you spend time dwelling on that at the beginning of your sitch. My guess is with him it would've been somewhere else if not there though. Who knows.

God only knows how the “I’m taking my savings and going to saint maarten without you and alone” went. She wouldn’t dare rock the boat I guess, because according to my daughter she NEEDS him.

Yeah...would've been interesting to be a fly on the wall for that discussion.

"Honey, I'm going to the saint maarten next month!"
"You're taking me for our anniversary?"
"No, I said I'm going"
"What do you mean, with your buddies?"
"No, just me"
"Um...."