For me, I know D11 is too self-absorbed to care (for now). S8, I worry about the impact, he's sensitive and has emotional regulation issues. But I like to think that I don't exhibit toxic behaviors to my kids, although I'm sure in twenty years they will be complaining to their therapist about me! Many times I call out STBXW for her inability to accept my children's emotions, even today I called her out for dismissing my Son's anger.
When she is not around, I don't see the same behavioral issues that we've been dealing with over the last 5 years. I genuinely believe she contributes a lot to the children's conflict. In fact D11 blurted out last week that STBXW is a narc. Where she picked that up is beyond me, I've never once said that in our house. I was laughing inside, but shut my mouth to see where the conversation went. D11 had valid critisms, and STBXW didn't handle it well.
So I'd like to think, her choice to leave will be better for my kids. Because I safely demonstrate empathy, compassion, and parent by example, and will be able to do without interference. I will be a safe place for them.
Without knowing Traveler sitch, I hope I'll feel the same in a few years time.
