Single tired female

[BL42]

Mach,

My girlfriend of 13 years passed away last month. She had a long courageous battle with Cancer.

That's awful. Very sorry about your loss. Thoughts and prayers...

Ginger1,

Our sexual chemistry is pretty intense. However, while he’s a great dude , we have have fun together , and did I mention sexual chemistry? The emotional closeness isn’t there.

Last, but not least, LH. yes, I women can have a sexual attraction withot emotional connection. ANd with me and this guy, its an emotional friendly connection. We can connect, but not on a deep level.

Would you expand on little on this? As a guy, I'm curious on a your thoughts as a female on why there is a sexual attraction but not an emotional connection? What makes you both attracted sexually, not not emotionally? Is it just a physical thing? Or you want to connect but don't think he's open and available at the moment?

I am just feeling it lately. I spent the weekend grocery shopping, cooking, lawn mowing gardening, cleaning, power washing the house, running errands ….. it’s been so so so so incredibly long since I’ve known what help is. Or sharing responsibilities . It seems so foreign to me.

I hear you on this. I felt like I was crushing it at first, but have been slipping on some stuff around the house lately. And it's only been 2-2.5 years. 14 years is a long time to primary parent and have no support. I find when it's my "off" time I should get some stuff done but sometimes need to just veg out or try to GAL.

With the financial weight in my shoulders for so long likewise, sometimes I really just want to run away and live in a tiny house or a cabin.

Has an incredible ex wife who is raising his daughter quite well and hasn’t made his life miserable.

Maybe it's time to make his life miserable by going back to court?

Maybe you've explored this ir are tired of people suggesting it, but when is the last time you were in court over child support? I know you've said you make more and typically the parent's significant other doesn't factor in, but aside form the presumptive formula the court has discretion / latitude to adjust amounts. I wonder how a family court judge would feel about your ExH jetting off to tropical island vacations yet not chipping in for his daughter's new sweatshirt. I care for my kids more than my ExW yet I have to pay for the mortgage on the she and OM2 live in; it's definitely not fair you get peanuts when you're the primary. Don't be a "nice guy" about it. If there is a chance you could get more, stand up for yourself and get it. Or, maybe I'm completely off base and you've exhausted that option.

The ex is “alone” currently on the island of saint maarten. I couldn’t help myself , I texted him today . “ a solo vacay to st Maarten, huh?” He replied “yes, I am loving life!” I told him we are different kinds of broke . He said it was money he was saving from when he sold his motorcycle. Interesting way to use it right ?

Very interesting! Hmmmm.

I will leave you all with an intersting tid bit. I asked D if she heard from her dad and she said only when he landed and she isn't going to text him. SHe said she thinks OW is texting him like 10 times a day and is so incredibly lonely.

It really is bizarre he'd go to a tropical island by himself when married. Not a scuba diving trip or golfing expedition with his buddies or anything? How does that conversation go with OW? No ask to come with? It does seem pretty fishy.

Gets to be dad maybe 2-3 times a week.

I do believe my ex is happy. What a normal guy sees as horrible, he sees as great.

This really is sad. If he's happy about this - and he may be - I pity him. It's no easy task raising your kids, but there's also nothing more fulfilling. Maybe he just doesn't realize what he's missing out on.

Oh, and he has a job where he can retire at 55 ( thanks to my dad and his wife).

What do you mean thanks to your dad?

I have a big work event tomorrow so it works out well for me. One of the nicest catering halls in the area (and NJ has alot of them) free drinks and food and netowrking. It'll be fun.

Sounds like a blast...enjoy!