I'm Back after 1st DB (5)

[BL42]

toughtimes180,

Well, the last two weeks have been probably the worse to date. In the lead up to the second mediation session, I've had daily abusive emails about all sorts of things, and verbally all the usual I've come to expect: projection, reframing the past, blame for the littlest of things. I don't react, but internally it's taking a toll.

Like I just told Jq25...keep your cool. Stay calm, strong, and in control.

I did come prepared.

Doing your due diligence when they don't can make a difference. It saved me a good bit of money.

We got to the point about 50/50 and she wouldn't budge from 40/60.

Don't accept anything less 50/50, period.

I pressed to say what would it take, and she wouldn't answer. I kept pressing, and she said, give me the finances I'm asking for.

Ah...there you have it. If you know what you're entitled to don't give up on custody OR finances.

In other words, she used our children as a bargaining chip.

It certainly happens. If she thinks she can get more money using something as a bargaining chip, why not?

So back to me to draft something and see if she'll sign the damn thing.

You sound more frustrated with the process and wanting it to be finalized than sad about your sitch.

I guess, to be positive, I'm closer then ever to what I wanted in a Parenting Plan.

You were always entitled to closer to what you want than what STBXW said she wanted. All you needed to do (which you are) is stand firm and let the legal process play out.

It really enforces to me I cannot trust anything from this woman, and I did the right thing to not negotiate the finances.

"Trust nothing of what they say"

She still tries a couple of times to week to sidestep lawyers with emails or even sms. I guess since the hard threats haven't worked, it's now a softer approach. I don't even respond to any of them.

Good. If anything "please direct this to my L".

The best part of IHS is the weekends. It's a blissful glimpse of the future. A day of the kids with no interference and a day by myself. Three weeks in a row, and I love it.

You sound excited for the D. Not typical of newbies around here.

In four days I fly with D11 and S8 for a 2 week overseas vacation. It's just what I need, so I can forget about things for a while.

Awesome! Enjoy!

I am half expecting some letter from her lawyer during this time. You know, to remind me who's in charge. But I shouldn't focus on that, just on the awesome quality time I'm facing.

Right. Don't worry about it. It can wait two weeks. Enjoy your time.

In case Steve asks how's my GAL, gym, bushwalks, out with friends, about to start a martial arts class.

Well done! Keep it up!