my condolences Mach. Grief is ... eff the cliches. it's messy, it's like a sine wave ... gut-wrenching ... transforming.
i can only speak for myself, but the way i'm honoring my mom (lost her in Dec) and Dad (lost him 3 years ago) is by doing my best to live a life that not only is true to myself, but also would make them proud.
I think you're doing that, fwiw.
xo
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver