Well, the last two weeks have been probably the worse to date. In the lead up to the second mediation session, I've had daily abusive emails about all sorts of things, and verbally all the usual I've come to expect: projection, reframing the past, blame for the littlest of things. I don't react, but internally it's taking a toll. I guess it's because STBXW was nervous about the session. She even started attacking the credibility of the mediator, threating to move to another one.
The session was strange. She didn't verbally attack me as much, but I did come prepared. I countered every single objection she had from the previous session, and even drafted up a sample plan. I feel practically no concession on her part, but since she wanted me to only have every second weekend, it's gone well. We got to the point about 50/50 and she wouldn't budge from 40/60. I pressed to say what would it take, and she wouldn't answer. I kept pressing, and she said, give me the finances I'm asking for. I paused for about 10 seconds to then proclaim, wow! Blackmail. I don't know what to say! (It's not blackmail, I guess it's extortion?)
In other words, she used our children as a bargaining chip. I really couldn't believe this. I honestly thought we were finished with no resolution until mediator suggested I could draft up a yearly calendar and I might find that with school holidays I'll come what I'm after. I agreed, as my mental arithmetic suggested this could work (forgetting I might not have enough annual leave).
So back to me to draft something and see if she'll sign the damn thing.
I guess, to be positive, I'm closer then ever to what I wanted in a Parenting Plan. Just not quite what I thought. My IC has gone through this before and said not to worry, just keep going back to mediation, he said it took him 7 sessions over 2 years.
It really enforces to me I cannot trust anything from this woman, and I did the right thing to not negotiate the finances. She still tries a couple of times to week to sidestep lawyers with emails or even sms. I guess since the hard threats haven't worked, it's now a softer approach. I don't even respond to any of them.
The best part of IHS is the weekends. It's a blissful glimpse of the future. A day of the kids with no interference and a day by myself. Three weeks in a row, and I love it.
In four days I fly with D11 and S8 for a 2 week overseas vacation. It's just what I need, so I can forget about things for a while. I am half expecting some letter from her lawyer during this time. You know, to remind me who's in charge. But I shouldn't focus on that, just on the awesome quality time I'm facing.
In case Steve asks how's my GAL, gym, bushwalks, out with friends, about to start a martial arts class. In terms of validation, that's pretty much finished. The conversations have no emotion, so there isn't anything to validate. I save that for the kids.
