Single tired female

[Elbereth]

Oh Ginger. The frustration you are feeling is oozing out of this post. I am so sorry it is this way for you. You deserve more. You really do. I do believe you will find it…at some point…but the process is so hard, and I’m sorry for that.

I was listening to a podcast (I’m new to it) called “Smart Dating Academy”. She has a dating service as well if you look up her website. I’ve only listened to a few episodes, but so far I think some of the dating advice they promote is intriguing. I know you said your budget is tight and you may not want to try their service, but you might enjoy some of the ideas they propose. In one episode I listened to, they discussed how we keep ‘dating’ the same way and so we have the same results. As in, we are the common denominator on much of what isn’t working. I thought that was interesting. Have you really dug deep to understand what you are attracted to, and how you proceed on each date when you meet someone you like? Maybe doing something completely different will bring a different result?

I am no expert…by any means. I am just starting to explore the idea of getting back into the dating pool myself now that my divorce is final and my life has stabilized. But what I can say is that I’ve been following your thread for sometime now, and I think you are an amazing soul and you have a lot to offer someone. I think the fact that you haven’t found that someone is not because of who you are. I also don’t think it’s just in who you are attracting. I wonder if it’s got to be something like who you are picking or how you are proceeding when you meet someone you like that might be setting you up for the same frustrating result?

The dating process described in some of the episodes I listened to is a totally different process then I did when I was dating the last time. I saw many interesting ideas on how to really see what someone is like over time, and how to identify red flags, and what to actually go after to find someone that is what you are looking for. And how to make them ‘earn’ you. Being an analytical person, I see how the effect of changing one or two things can really have a big impact in the scheme of things. Like the butterfly effect. I think we all have the tendency to keep doing what we do without really thinking about it because it’s hard for us to see it that way. Even when we think we may be doing something differently, in reality, we really are not. It usually takes someone else to point out a different way (and to hold us accountable), and it takes even more energy to resist the urge to fall back into our current ways of doing things. But sometimes, it’s the leaps or the shifts that really lead to impressive change.

Anyway, maybe give some of them a listen and let me know what you think of what they suggest. Again, you have a lot to offer someone. You are caring, smart, independent, funny, loving and loyal. I know there is someone out there that would love to earn your love and trust!

((Hugs))

El