Newborn, are you familiar with the Last Resort Technique? May want to start employing that. Let those calls go to VM. If is important he'll follow up with a text.
Thanks for responding. Yes, I've tried LRT light basically since I've moved away. I don't really text him for most things, go out with friends and to be honest I do try to have a pretty active social life, as well as leadership and work stuff. But I do text back typically within a few hours, answer my phone, required him to come by to babysit, and hung out with extended family and him. Only thing I've invited him to was a father's Day coffee and pastries near my house - he had sent a big beautiful bouquet for mother's day and wanted him not to feel slighted.
But you're right - I should pull back even more.
Most WSs, and I think your STBXH fits into that category, tend to want their cake and eat it too. That means they want to live the life of a single person, and then come around and play family with their EX and the kids when it suits them. My W tried to arrange the same post-D situation, and it really burst her bubble when I told her that wasn't going to happen. That we weren't going to be friends, and play family after D. That we would have a custody agreement in place, and that our D would experience separate events with each of us (IE, I'd celebrate her birthday with her and she'd celebrate her birthday with her separately.)
I am not saying the coffee & pastries was wrong for Father's Day, but I would consider not doing that moving forward. I know the baby is a newborn, but next year they'll be 1. So I would expect a custody agreement to be in place by then, and that Father's Day weekend would be his weekend. No matter what magnanimous act he may or may not engage in for Mother's Day.
The more available you are to him the more cake he will eat.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
