WAW w/Exit Affair or WW? - 1 Year Divorced (7)

[BL42]

OnlyBent,

BL, not sure if you ever answered this, but the question is, would you have any more kids? Or get married again?

I love kids and being a father. Before BD while married in a nuclear family I definitely would've had a third, but knew now-ExW wasn't into more (at least she wasn't at the time, people's opinions sometimes change after the babies get a bit older). Post-BD I thought if I re-married I'd absolutely be open to more kids, but as time has passed since BD & D I find myself thinking more and more that I'm probably done. I have a wonderful son and a wonderful daughter, and love being their dad, and am content with that. At my age now and with my situation it may be best to keep it at that. But, if I found a fantastic woman who really wanted a child of her own maybe I would be open to it. Who can say - you never know what the future will bring - but more and more I'm thinking I'm probably done having kids and I'm fine with that.

Or get married again?

I'd consider getting married again if I found a woman I genuinely wanted to spend the rest of my life with. However, three things...First, I'd be completely content with finding an LTR without officially / legally "marrying", if the woman was accepting. Second, I'm going to be way more skeptical and more closely vet red flags. And third, now better understanding the marriage/divorce laws and impacts I'd want to protect myself financially. I'd section off pre-martial accounts and want a prenup to cover things like retirement funds and alimony IF the other person wanted out. That's what's gotten me a bit in all this. I know I'm loyal and willing to hold up my vows, but was naïve going into my marriage thinking both parties would do the same. I won't open myself up to splitting my retirement contributions again when there's no guarantee they'll honor their end of the "till death do us part" vow.

she realises children aren't for her now and would be happy to slot into someone's life who did already have them. So they are out there.

Sounds like an ideal perspective for someone dating us.

I had to give her a big kick up the backside to continue things with him because at this age, perfect just does not exist.

You're encouraging your FWB to seriously date another man? Talk about detachment and DB'ing!