WAW w/Exit Affair or WW? - 1 Year Divorced (7)

[BL42]

Pulling the BL42 specific discussion in the Evolutionary Psychology and Dating thread over...

BL42 - sounds like you’ve got a lot going on , on paper. Maybe your OLD profile needs some editing? Sounds like your basic details would have passed my screening when I was OLD (except for age - too young - and kids - too young). So I’m wondering if there are things in your profile that need improvement?

Thanks kml. I like to think so, and agree a OLD profile revamp might be in order. I'm thinking of deleting my accounts and logging off for awhile and then starting renewed after a break.

BL42, you don't give off the bitter or misogynistic vibe some who struggle with dating do.

Traveler - Thanks, I agree I'm not bitter - just pointing out my sitch for the other thread.

I second a redo of your profile text or photos could do wonders and get you as many matches as I or OnlyBent or Spiral do. If you're not comfortable posting your dating info here, or showing a close female friend, there are services that specialize in writing or polishing dating profiles. Most people I know get as many matches offline as online, so if online just isn't your thing, that's okay too!

Traveler - I agree. I'll have to revamp and strategize on the OLD profile front.

BL, if it helps my profile is very simple. 4 photos, one in a suit before a wedding, one in a pink blazer and pants with two friends, a short boomerang type video of me dancing at a house party (which gets LOTS of comments) and a photo of me in my footy gear at footy.

I have my interests as Gym, Basketball, Cooking, Wine and Whisky and that I'm 6'1....

My bio says 'I think I'm funny, smart, charming, a great listener and can cook...but I'll let you be the judge of all that' and have answered one of those pre-canned questions 'I guarantee that...I'll make you laugh'.

It may or may not help that I've been told by a lot of people that I have Daniel Craig vibes...

OB - Appreciate the tips. "Daniel Craig vibes" sounds ideal!!!

BL to be honest I think you are in a tough spot due to your age and having young kids. A man on avg dates a woman 4 years younger so you are looking at 35 year olds. Woman at that age are looking to start their own family or do not want kids. There are not a ton of freshly divorced woman with young kids at 35. They typically wait for the kids to get older before they file for divorce. My guess is this is your problem which you can't control.

I think you're right LH. My age and the young kids aren't ideal for many women. As one example consider Ginger's guy she really likes but he has a 6yo and 3yo and not much time to devote outside of them, which isn't in line with where she is in life. And I'll be honest and say when I was single w/o kids I wasn't looking to have a relationship with a woman with children. So it's fair, and it is what it is. I accept that. And plan to give my kids plenty of focus with or without dating. But I do think despite the kids' age I'd be a great partner for many women out there. Career, finances, being a father and genuinely great guy with his "stuff" together. When the women do show up, they'll be impressed...or should be!

Past a certain age it’s hard meeting single people of the opposite sex if you don’t work around a lot of members of the opposite sex.

Opportunity is a big part, I'm sure. My virtual IT Mgr role managing people all over the country provides great income/career but does not lend itself to networking locally / in-person like a hospital or school district would.

I have ZERO opportunity to meet available women in-person in my role. I make maybe a top 5% salary, especially for my area, with plenty of room for growth but don't have a "Dr" or "L" title that necessarily reflects that on OLD profiles. However, the big sticking point is lack of in-person / local networking. I need to figure out how to put myself in places to do that outside of work. Volunteering to coach S7's sports has led to me meeting a bunch of kids and parents, but mostly married in their nuclear families. Maybe a hobby / activity that's traditionally more female interest (yoga...whatever) than what I've been doing. Because I think opportunities and putting yourself in the right situations is a big part of it.