Kml, bl42 and deja Vu: thank you so much for your kind responses.
Agreed about the showing who they are the first time. And yes, him basically not reaching out to see the baby is very telling. Of course he does hang out with friends who are dads that he respects and will talk about being a father with them. 🙄 He likes to fit in more than anything. Thank you, I do have some babysitters but occasionally would like ex help when I go out of town for medical conferences or something.
Bl, you are right. When ex gave the bomb drop during pregnancy I consulted with a lawyer privately. Didn't want to scare him off in case he turned around and wanted to be a father after all. However in my state you need to pay alimony indefinitely after 10 years of marriage so we going to pursue postnuptial agreement if stayed together. No bl in regards to do I believe it, maybe not. My self esteem is trashed right now. Even fishing for compliments it was just like... Starving for someone saying something nice. I'd always compliment him on his outfits or whatever and he would just say thanks half heartedly or whatever. I'm excited to move on.
Kml and bl, Everyone has echoed what you said, the longer it drags out the meaner people get. I want to ensure I ride the wave of him feeling guilty for abandoning his family by divorcing without him demanding alimony. I don't really care if he pays child support tbh because it will be less than whatever I would have to pay him in alimony for sure
True to form y'all: I felt awesome yesterday, sent in divorce paperwork, felt like I'm moving on per all y'all recommendations and the ex calls me to talk about a concert he went to (we went to same band few years back) and a crazy story about the house. I ended conversation first but he wanted to chat for over 40 minutes. Laughed and talked like old times. It's like the was has a sixth sense!
