Hi everyone! Thank you so much for all of the time you've spent reading and replying. I'm at work and can't seem to figure out a good editor to work on my phone, so I'll try to write the answers out. For what is worth I agree with almost all of the responses here.

1) I am a physician yes. I make 3x what the ex does. I can't imagine what people with no income who are going through this must feel like... I'm sorry for anyone else dealing with this.

2) pregnancy: was not a trick or way to get him to straighten out. Birth control genuinely failed - wasn't the best time for me socially so was a little stressful. But he is still mad I "took away his choice"and he resents me for it. Then he will say he doesn't begrudge me. (I don't think he can see himself in a bad light.) I did put pressure on him because of medical reasons - not to say yes necessarily but to make a choice as he kept saying he would be ready in a year or two but then he may never be ready. I almost left him before because I couldn't handle this going back and forth.

3) work hours: was completely not in my control for years, now I'm out of training and have much more time. I did cut down fully in moonlighting etc from before that took my time away. I do blame myself for working so many extra hours. I cut down immediately after he had asked me to though. Damage was already done.

4) arrest: stbx got too drunk and stole a sign, a cop witnessed it. I was able to get the lawyer to argue from misdemeanor to a lesser charge. Fwiw His mom is an alcoholic who was abusive to him growing up.

5) custody: he's fine with me having full custody. Is not trying to go for alimony. Agree I am trying to lock on divorce ASAP to protect myself and my son. Putting all emotions away for this.

6)Steve you're like the voice inside my head screaming. Urrgh. I don't know why I'm still doing this sometimes. Guess I still love him? Feel like I was the one who ruined it so I can fix it? Don't want a broken family?

7) astrology/mlc: our mutual friends even before they know what was going on was thinking he turned kinda weird. He posts all this yoga stuff he does on his Instagram.

8) visitation: he will see the baby every 1-2 weeks usually at my request. So I can go to a gala, or need to go to hospital for call. He seems to genuinely love our son.