No such luck

[AndrewP]

Anyways, if you made it this far, I would love to hear what your thoughts on this is.

Not sure what I would have to offer on this. You and I have chatted on and off over the years and we are definitely not each other's types so our points of view of what would make an appropriate partner is certainly different I would think.

I think that a lot of what it comes down to is that essentially nobody who is "available" in the adult dating world is "ready". There are those who have done the work to heal themselves and put in the effort to try to understand what they actually want in life like you and I have done, and those who like the you of 14 years ago who just "need" someone and jump right in.

I absolutely don't know, but expect that those people who are years out from their divorce, have their poop categorized into neat little piles, probably are very rare on many of the dating sites. From what I see, most of the people who are partaking of OLD fall into one of two categories. The freshly minted ones who want to fill the void they feel "right now" and the ones who are the long-haulers who just keep trying and trying hoping that the next frog will be "the one".

The poop pilers are from what I can see - again in my different geography - are out there living their lives as single people and aren't actively online. Without much effort I can think of a half-dozen women of my acquaintance who live close by who don't have a partner. A couple of them, I'm confident, would perhaps want one but they aren't actively hunting one down. I also know of at least 3-4 other men in just my small village in similar circumstances. So such people exist.

Certainly there are exceptions. Dawn for example who has a clear idea of who she is and the sort of person she would want in her life had a very successful OLD experience albeit with at least a few frogs she let go or had to shoo out the door. And also, I'm viewing this from the point of view of the women I see online in my own geography and age range. I have no idea what it's like at your age or what the situation is for guys. My gut feeling is that most of the guys online especially at a your younger age are either in it for the poontang or are looking for someone to take care of them. Undoubtedly for us older guys it would be more them looking for a nurse or a purse. My generation certainly didn't do as good of a job preparing for retirement than we should have.

So - not sure how helpful this is, but you are at least getting your money's worth from the comments.

But then. I thought. Is he having an affair ? A 6 day solo vacay to a tropical island ? Something seems fishy. And I wouldn’t put it past him for a second

Yeah - he's essentially told you in the past that he would be happy having you as a side-chick. As the old joke goes - the man who marries his mistress creates a job opening.