Isn’t wonderful when you get to this place. If I agree…
It’s “if”. Not in a mean way. Rather it’s your choice and your control of you. And that makes a lot of difference.
Originally Posted by Eagle3
And, last but not least, I want to test myself as well.
Ah, IMHO, the best reason of all.
If I may; like I waxed on about my anger stage, which I realize I haven’t typed about in like almost four years, that and other “long ago” things; one first thinks they are healed. They regain control of the intellect. Bills can get paid, decisions can be made, work can be performed. Though one certainly doesn’t feel like it.
Eventually, feelings catch up. Our heart - the one kept soft and squishy - catches up to our mind. We feel better, we feel healed. We reinforce these thoughts and inspire these positive feelings.
This process inspires our beliefs - our soul. We hope to believe we are healed.
Beliefs are interesting things. They live deep inside us, and are slow to change. They inspire everything about us; note inspire not control, for one’s mind is the throne of control. Beliefs can be ignored, to one’s self peril.
At this point, one has organized their beliefs and convictions; having strengthened, altered, discarded, and crafted their deep values. Yet one needed to know their beliefs are strong. To believe in what they believe. In this case, belief of being healed. Hence, testing or temptation is a necessary step along the path.
When one’s physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual paths are aligned and tested and known and believed, it is such a peace. I’ve personally found I lead and decide more from my “soul” now. Like for everything. It’s quite amazing. And I realize when I am not, for I get twisted up. Life’s feedback and all.
Originally Posted by Eagle3
…I’m even doubting if I ever would want him back. My life is going really well, I’m seeing a future for myself again, one where he does not fit in at the moment. I’m curious if this will be the case as well when I’m an evening in his presence. I haven’t mentioned a lot about this but these past few months I have been actively working on myself. Together with my therapist we did a deep dive into my past, to find my specific difficulties. This to learn and to become the person I really want to be for the next part of my life.
Yes, become you. The best version of you.
You need to answer nor even decide of you would ever want him back, or where he will fit in your or your kids future lives. Things do have a way of sorting themselves out.
Do focus, and believe, in and on your life. How well it is going. How well you are doing and becoming. Everything flows from those deep convictions.
As OwnIt has attested, thought work, or cognitive behavioural therapy, is a helpful tool. One of many tools in the personal development toolbox. One which I do find to be my default, it just happens for me.
Some advice regarding the thoughtful purposeful altering of negative thoughts; ensure they are negative and/or you truly want to alter them. Hopefully, that causes a pause within you. How do I know if they are truly negative? I’m not talking about our obvious hurt and self blaming and such from the events that have befallen us. I’m talking about beliefs and convictions. Discussions of MLC being real or not being a recent example.
My path, and thoughtful approach, is not to discount “the other side”. I find there is already far too much of that in the world which programs society to such one sided thoughts - just look at the polarizing views and bloodlust fights that politics, or Covid, or any number of other hot button topics brings forth. My approach, each side is right and more importantly wrong (although I do admit the embracing one’s wrongness of things takes some getting used to). So let’s stick with both sides are right.
One would fight tooth and nail that it is a 6. And the other would equally fight it is a 9. Both are right. And if neither will humble themselves to look from the other side, the battle will rage external. Both being fully self justified and right. One can be right and end up incorrect.
Utilize thought work to elevate above whatever it is you are working on. See it from a completely different plane. Do not choose one side or the other. Do not limit yourself. You are so much worthy to see the full picture. And in that larger picture, choosing sides becomes irrelevant. Life it turns out is far from black and white, it has many colours and shades.
Originally Posted by Eagle3
DnJ, I even took an interior architect to make it exactly as I want it. LOL Next week I have a meeting to go over the plans he has created. I’m really looking forward to that. The house I bought is based in one of the most beautiful city centres you have ever seen (it’s a very famous medieval city in Europe). The house has 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms and last but not least, a great garden court of which I will create the most cosy place you’ve ever seen!
I love it! An interior architect! That is fantastic.
Oh my goodness, a great garden court. Wow! And four bedrooms, 2 bathrooms. Sounds awesome!
Keep shinning.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
