My DB journey thus far

[BL42]

greenman,

Just went back and read through your thread. I hadn't posted before but do remember some of the dialogue. I can definitely related to your feelings.

Neither of us ever dated anyone during that time (of course that I know of). I guess W decided to go online dating after D and found her new awesome BF.

Not trying to make light of your situation, but if it's true ExW didn't see anyone until post-D (let alone during separation or pre-BD), you're relatively lucky compared to most folks around here.

For some reason that hit REALLY hard and I'm spinning backwards after all I've been through. I know it will pass, but reminds me how attached to her I still was the whole time. I had adjusted to the way things were and we still somewhat acted as a family.

I think we'll always have a bit of that "she used to be my W and now she's someone elses" mindset, but it'll likely dissipate as time goes on to not impact us nearly as much down the road. Btw...don't think it's a one-way road. She'll likely have those twags when she knows you're seeing another woman, even if she doesn't tell you. Maybe thinking of it that way will help you?

I have to figure out how to push my anger and hurt aside to continue that good co parent relationship.

Indeed. Always need to act in the best interest of our kids.

No matter how long it has been and how much I knew it, I struggle with another man in the picture around her and my kids.

I completely relate to this. I have an extra problem in my case that it's the man she dated while married to me, but either way...tough to powerless against another man interacting and raising our children. Especially when statistics say the biggest thread to kids is a non-blood relative living in the house. Unfortunately out of our control.

Ridiculous, it seems, I know, but this is what I'm going through.

Not ridiculous at all. Completely normal and totally understandable.

I really want to dedicate my time to the kids, which I do, but I also get lonely. Been 3 years.

I hear ya. I've crushed it as a father and done everything I can for my kiddos - and loved every minute of it (almost anyway) - but would be nice to share activities and life moments with a partner.