Wolfman moving forward 3

[BL42]

Wolfman,

It’s like if I tell her to do something or what to do, she absolutely does not like that and will go against it. Not very mature, I know, but I am learning. I appreciate everyone talking to me.

You're learning how she'll react, but what is the take-away? How will that inform your own actions?

BL you asked what is the take away. That she needs how to learn to communicate better.

I was surprised when you answered the take away is that "she needs to learn..." (italics mine).

As for the future, you BOTH need better communication.

You say "OUR" communication stinks, but you focus on changes for HER.

I agree with kml & Traveler that you both need to work on communication. It's a two way street.

My take on the GRE / work disagreement is it seemed like a miscommunication. Perhaps she didn't do a great job on conveying the importance and precise schedule/logistical need, but I'm not sure you did a great job with understanding that need and ensuring no conflict before you signed up to work on the weekend. The GRE Test sounds like a very important thing - not a spa day with her friends - and your extra work sounds important as well. I think the two of you need to communicate more effectively to prevent those confusions in the future. Maybe a Google or Apple Calendar where she can map out GRE Test Saturday at 8PM (or AM) and then you know not to schedule over? The online calendars where very effective for me and ExW previously, and now very helpful for myself and S7 & D3 activities. Anyway, just an idea.

In terms of my original "take away" comment, I was referring to how you plan to handle the toddler meltdown until they get what they want approach you said she's taking. Obviously giving the kid a cookie every time instead of a firm boundary causes issues down the line and is not sustainable. You need to learn to deal with that, though also balance against the situation - GRE Test is more important and perhaps understandable than some lesser ask.

Want to share a bit of positive news, don’t want to always talk about the bad. Today my gf came to my son’s basketball game. To support him. So that was nice to see. Have a great Memorial Day everyone!!!

Glad to hear the positive update! It sounds like it means a lot to you she would support your son, which is completely understandable. You may want to tell how how important that was to you and how happy it made you to give positive reinforcement to her action.

Hope you had a good Memorial Day, and have a good Father's Day this coming weekend as well.