It’s wonderful to hear from you. I’m glad work is going well. And I totally get not being in to the bar scene. Especially every night.
Oh my, OW hacking the phone bill while H is out of town and away from her. Yep, if they’ll cheat with you, they cheat on you. Trust is super scarce in such a relationship as that.
It’s pretty interesting to see them wearing their everything is fine mask. Yes, there is quite an internal struggle, an almost fighting themselves. Stay out of the line of fire.
Originally Posted by Stella20
Don't know why I even try.. I have been pretty good with no contact and waiting to respond or not responding to his texts.
Good for you.
By the way, we all try. You are doing fine.
Originally Posted by Stella20
I am very slowly starting to heal but have a long long long way to go. Don't see how I will ever be okay with all of this, feel like I am living in a fog of my own. I still miss my old H alot and wish I could have my life back. Who knows...right? I don't know, change my mind every day. No signs from him at all that he misses me or our life together. Everyone just says move on he is never coming back. I am still struggling with that, I know he is in crisis and not himself. Will he ever come out??? who knows.. I don't know where I will be or how I will feel then. Still hard to see my life without H. I pray to God every day to heal him.
The fog does lift. And you will see much clearer. Have faith, you will be ok with all this; and I know and empathize with just how unseen that currently is. (((Hug)))
Everyone says move on he is never coming back. Well, I’m not saying that. So it’s not everyone. What matters is you! And you don’t need to make that major decision today. And honestly shouldn’t until better healed. Change your mind daily, or twelve times a day. Keep moving forward. Focus on you.
Will he ever come out? Best answer I have - give him to God. You didn’t break him, so you can’t fix him. Give him to God.
At the start, it was hard to see my life without J too. We have the gift of time, use it well. Find your path.
Originally Posted by Stella20
Staying in our home is proving to be harder than I thought, whilie it gives me comfort to be here, it also keeps all of our memories and hope swirling in me. I don't know if I will stay or not yet, thats a decision for the future, not today.
Well done.
Do not make major life decision based upon emotions. They are fleeting (another dollar for Ginger) and will change, and then so did your reasoning for that decision. Look to your intellect and reason; and to convictions and values. Although, our belief usually require some tweaking after bomb drop, once organized again, they make excellent headings. Logic and reason are much less influenced by feelings, therefore choices based upon such intellect yield far less regrets.
I live in the martial home. Surrounded by the life of my family and marriage. It is comforting, and the ghosts do not haunt. Memory and hope is not a bad thing; the absence of such would be far worse.
Have a great day and weekend my dear.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
