Need advice: wife of 10 years wants out (2)

[PeterB]

I feel that you don’t appreciate how abusive this person is.

Yes, you are right. I am afraid to even admit it properly and accept it. When I did realize a bit last year it sent me into depression.

While you applied DB principles very well and she has wobbled somewhat, she still knows she has you in her back pocket, and I don’t think a reconciliation with this person is a good idea.

Yes, I think she still feels she has me in her pocket. However, that is not with a high level of certainty. She does think that I have put myself in a state where I'll be fine without her and that bothers her (she told me so). In reality, I am worried about both ends - post-divorce and post-reconciliation.

Just my 2c. IHS is brutally difficult, and it’s going to wear you down emotionally very quickly.

Yes it is. I'm hanging on. Trying to be positive - treating this as a gift of time.

Did you kick her out of the bedroom? Time to start making some power moves.

No, mainly because I am very wary of introducing too much of a change to my son's routine. They sleep together in the MB and if she moves out then it could impact him in unknown ways. I sleep in a different bedroom.

Trying to get there. She herself says she wants to stop and then she tries to seduce me in various ways.

That’s BS. Either you’ve stopped or you haven’t. Who cares what she tries to do. IMHO you need to respond with some conviction.

Yeah trying to keep the drill holstered. Seems to be working atm.